Jangan Memuji

Neah, I’m not attempting to compose my rendition of Shanty and Marcells’ song, but I just need to vent out my utter dissatisfaction towards DHL and its agent, Staples. Just several months ago I was so beriya in flattering this MNC for having such a wonderful and efficient service. But they just had to let me down somehow.

April 30th, went to Staples (apparently in this English land, or at least where I live, DHL has no shop of its own. It sublets to a stationery company called ‘Staples’.. get it?). Went in, picked my box, chucked my stuffs in, paid. Then waited.. Boy did I wait for this blond to print out my receipt, which ultimately is my tracking number. Bear in mind, at this time, I was half-blind, wandering about a part of town to which no bus seems to exist. I had to call the taxi (another pelik-tapi-benar custom here. We can’t hail a cab, need to call them instead. So every girl who knows better has to have the cabbie’s number in her ‘lil black book, in case she gets stuck at a remote place, lke yours truly at this point). When I called the operator, he said “Sorry luv, there’s not one free at the moment”. Aiyoo.. I was freezing and not seeing properly. Going back in to Staples would be pointless as all those office supplies gave me headaches. Called again 10 minutes later, managed to book a cab, which conveniently arrived half an hour later! The point of this: This Staples place is soo the jauh and menyusahkan badan nak pegi.

Then two days later, I got a package from DHL (“Eh bestnyer.. sapa baik hati send me a box?”). Er, me?? Apparently my package was sent back to me due to this error of having no invoice. Now wait a minute, I didn’t know anything about an invoice. Wouldn’t the blond have told me about it?

Called DHL. After listening to their “Press 1, press 7” instructions, I finally made it to talk to a human being. Several minutes and countless credits later, the lady asked me “Why didn’t you put the invoice along with your package?” ..Funny, ain’t it? The main thing why I called you about, you asked me back. I don’t know anything about an invoice, nobody told me I had to pay or do anything about an invoice. I’ve never heard of the word INVOICE till five minutes ago. She later emailed me the invoice, told me to print it, fill in the details and deliver my package back to Staples. &#%

But I did anyway. On May 4th. Went back to that godforsaken place (do I have a choice? It’s the nearest DHL service counter in my area), waited for another century to pass, like it was really difficult right, to process my invoice. I brought a friend with me this time ‘cos I was still in the blind.. We sat on their 29.99 showroom office chairs, positioned directly in front of the entrance door. So we were like, the receptionists la pulak, appearing to greet the customers on their way in. But who cares.. I’m not gonna stand for an hour, which was how long it took to get things done. Done? Or so I thought. I asked Blondie, “Is there anything else? I really don’t want to come here again..”
“Nope. This should be it. It’s relatively simple really. The system just won’t let us enter your information”.
Ah, the system. Why didn’t you say so earlier? We could’ve sent an electronic army over to DHL circuit and kill their IT personnel. But just too glad things are over, I waved buhbye.

The next day (May 5th, a Saturday), tried my tracking number. Wait a minute, ‘Package was succesfully sent to Mummy V’. Huh?? Called DHL again, but since now I got the hang of it, managed to dial the right number and talked to a human rather quickly. “That was your old tracking number. You should enter your new tracking number now.” Grreat. Blondie didn’t give me any new tracking number and since I’m not a Briton who appears to know what to ask for on their first time dealing with DHL, I didn’t ask lah right?

Called Staples, Blondie wasn’t in. In fact he’s never in when I call to talk to him. His co-worker took my surname and contact number and said she’ll look up my tracking number. 15 minutes later, “Hi, I can’t seem to find the paperwork for your package. Tell you what, lemme call DHL and see if they’ve got your pack”.
“I already did, they don’t have it in their system yet” I replied.
“Which number did you call?”
Wait, there’s another number?? Funny, in Malaysia we only have one number, toll free some more!
Apparently it’s a different number. So she hung up, leaving me to wait anxiously. Half an hour later, she told me that the DHL office is closed and will be back on Tuesday, since Monday was a (bloody) bank Holiday. Not knowing what else to do, I went to DHL’s website and emailed my query to three addresses, ‘cos I wasn’t sure which email has real people reading it.

Yesterday (THE Tuesday), I played Sherlock trying to track my tracking number from 8.30 in the morning. To no avail. Staples just never ring me back after taking my surname, destination of package and my contact number for the umpteenth time. When I called, they insisted they were busy (Hello, I was at your place, twice, and there don’t seem to be a beeline like at Jusco!).
Frustrated, I called the other number that Staples lady gave me. There must only be ONE operator working there as my calls were never answered by anyone but a recorded voice! 5 or 6 hours later, I finally managed to speak to Customer Service. He said my details weren’t on the system. So he gave yet another number to call -the depot, where supposedly all the packages would’ve been dropped before leaving the country. Huhu.

Till this morning, no one seems to exist on that depot. No one picks up the phone.

So I’m now without a tracking number and haven’t a clue to where my package is.. In answering my email, DHL called me and insisted that “There’s nothing we can do without your tracking number. It’s quite simply, not our problem because Staples haven’t given it to us”. Staples, oh dear God, that darn shop is just employing a bunch of nincompoops not knowing how to use a computer or what lah..
And the best part, I paid GBP 47 for this ‘wonderful’ service.


Latest Update

Called the DHL Customer Service (again) and finally talked to someone who doesn’t resemble a robot. He actually tried to help me! Wow, never thought they were caple of doing that. He said he’d call Staples for me and try to locate my package. “Give me 30 minutes”. Five hours later, he called, apologising of course for being a bit late (a bit??) and said the thing I’ve been wanting to hear for the last 10 days, “I’ve tracked your package and I’ve got the tracking number. It just left Germany an hour ago, so don’t worry, it’ll reach Malaysia real soon!” Yeay. Still not getting rid of this post. It’s gonna remind me not to use this service again. Unless of course, someone else is paying and get Stapled.


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