Coming HomePosted: September 11, 2007
I’m going home in exactly a week! Am so excited. I’ve finished packing, minus a box of chocolate that I currently have no idea where to put it, and am literally counting the days of my departure. Finally, after being apart from my loved ones for six whole months, I’m going home. Some did ask me (every now and then) whether I regretted choosing this programme and my answer has always been the same -Nope. While more conventional sets of parents see my move as paradoxical (“What, you love your family, so you leave them??”).. I believe what I’m doing is great given my circumstances with a very simple reasoning: I love my family, my husband and my daughter in particular, yet as a working woman I’m forced to make some decisions, hard decisions, at some point in my career. I have a choice either to 1) further my studies locally (that was what I wanted to do initially), 2) further my studies abroad and bring my family along like most people (which is what I had to do given that my research area is still in its infancy back home and my organisation wants more of its faculty members with overseas education), or 3) do what I do now.
Of course, nothing is wrong with either one of the above choices. So shoot me if I find it annoying that some people think it’s ‘illogical’ to choose Option 3 and think I’m unloving or non-maternal for wanting (their word, not mine) to be apart from my family. Back to my reasoning: It is because I love my family that I want to progress in my career. It is because I love my husband that I can’t bear to make him leave his job, the one that he worked so hard for to achieve. It is because I love my ‘lil girl that I want to do this now rather than later when she starts school.. Of course, I can always choose to be a stay-at-home mum (which is to me, still the best sacrifice ever) but given our circumstances -recently married, just started our life together, need to save for our future, we have a kid and more to come God willing- even my hubby does not permit me to be out of the job market as yet. Things have changed, back then when our lives (read: expenses) were much simpler, we could live comfortably with just one breadwinner. But now, even with the most basic living (no Astro, no Internet, no microwave for instance) new parents do need all the help they can get.
I see this as a blessing. Sure, I miss home, miss my hubby’s presence, miss my girl’s laughter.. I missed her second birthday.. missed her first few complete sentences (thank God for Skype though. In that sense, I didn’t feel that I was missing too much) but it is true that distance makes the heart fonder. By going through this short seperation, I’m pledging to take even good care of her.. to cook all the stuffs that I didn’t before (had quite a lot of practice here).. to go back to prepping myself up for hubby (admittedly, it’s been a while that I last put on makeup).. I even promised myself to be even more patient when dealing with Tasha’s tantrum.. Those are the sort of realisations that you become aware of when you’re apart. Things that we tend to ignore or take for granted if they are always in front of our eyes.
My bestfriend told me that it’s great what I’m doing now -taking a short break from everything. When I think of it, she’s right. I can’t remember the last time I did not wake up in the middle of the night other than to the loo.. did not cook on a daily basis (hehe, don’t worry dear, I absolutely love cooking for the family but a ‘lil break is always nice).. did not go to the office and being harrassed by students, hehe.. I know not many Moms will admit it for fear what people might think, but deep down they do secretly wish for some nice, long rest from all those routine. It’s similar to other holidays, when you get back, you will feel all energised and recharged. And that’s what I intend to do when I get back.
I admit though, amidst my excitement of going home, i know I will miss certain things here like the constant cool air that makes my daily walk actually enjoyable, cheap girly magazines, crisps (Walkers!), Sainsbury’s desserts (!!), the ability to wake up late -hah.
*Yawn*.. Aight, later.